Well October 1st is right around the corner and it’ll mark the 1st time in 25 years that I’ve missed not only opening day but the entire hunting season. Due to my health issues, I won’t be in the woods enjoying the sounds of nature with either of my kids. The one that will be the most affected is my daughter as she always loved to go hunting with me. Not just to see her old man shoot a deer but to point out the different sounds and birds, snakes, insects, etc. I think that was the best time I ever had when I went hunting is when my kids came with me. My son was never really into it. Sure he loved to go but after a 1/2hr of sitting in the blind, he was asking to go home if we didn’t see any deer right away.

I guess I spoiled him early on when I would take him and the spot we always went to had deer that watched us goto the blind and then come up within range as it to say, “take me, I’ve had it with this world”. But after a couple years of seeing their buddies go down, I think they smartened up because last year was horrible for hunting. My daughter never minded and had the patience to sit there and watch with me and I treated her the same way as my son and slowly informed her about the outdoors and what it ment to us and how it was natural for us to kill deer. She never liked the kill but never stopped me either from killing a deer.

This year I’ll make sure that every hunting show that’s on TV will be Tivo’d and I’ll figure out a way to continue teaching them about the outdoors and how to survive. Luckily we live out in the sticks so I can still show them the hawks and we can watch them as they swoop down for a Rabbit and then watch them take the Rabbit high up just to drop it on the ground again to kill it and then swoop down to grab their meal again. Just because I can’t hunt anymore doesn’t mean that they need to stop learning about the outdoors. I’ll use every ounce of energy that I have to get my broken down body out in the woods to just sit with them, it doesn’t mean that we need to hunt because god only knows I can’t pull a bow back anymore and sitting down on hard ground isn’t good for my back. We can lean up against a tree or sit in a stand that I’ll continue to keep up in the tree’s so they can get a better view. My ass may not be able to get in the tree but they can and man do they love the view.

Maybe this year we’ll play some games and I’ll see how much they’ve learned over the years by identifying different sounds and I’ll see how good they are at spotting deer tracks or my favorite, seeing the little patch of deer while they are standing in thick cover and then telling me which way they are moving.

Either way I’ll figure out a way for my kids to not miss out because of me. That’s not fair to not only them but also to the wildlife.

Hopefully.

Well I got the news from the Surgeon about my back yesterday and neither answer is good for me. Basicly if I opt to have fusion surgery then they can eliminate 80% of my pain and that I can deal with but I can’t deal with the 3 months of being off of work, my company won’t keep me around for that long and I can’t honestly blame them. So I’m opting to have another procedure done that will only keep me in the hospital for 3 days. I guess they are going to some injections in my back to help with the pain. They are “supposed” to be stronger then nerve blocks. I sure as hell hope so because the nerve blocks don’t last long for me and god only knows what my liver is starting to look like with all the pain pills that I’m taking hourly for my back.

So with that all said and done, my wife is so thrilled that you’d think we just won the lotto or something, I know fusion surgery isn’t the best thing to have for my back even though 4 different Dr’s have all told me the same thing. But with her background as a nurse, she thinks she knows more then any Dr does as do all nurses and she in no way, shape, or form wants me to have any kind of fusion surgery no matter what. I guess I can’t blame her with the history of what fusion surgery does to people but then on the other hand, she has NO IDEA how much pain I’m going through each day, sometimes I want to just drive in front of a semi on the way home to numb the damn pain.

I guess that’s all for today, I’m going to be talking to our HR VP today and explain what needs to be done and when it’s going to be done and pray that I’m proven my worth to the company so they will comp me the 3 days off that I need for the procedure. And then start figuring out a way to get some $ on the side to help pay the hospital bill that I know is going to be as much as a new SUV.

Well after having another serious TIA attack Tuesday night, my wife took me to the ER Clinic where we had thought they would be able to do a little more then what’s been done before on me, the results was the Dr on staff there almost received a broken wrist and I’m almost sure that I broke a couple fingers on him from trying to restrain me when they said they were calling an ambulance to get me to the ER ASAP.

After getting to the ER and going through all the stroke tests, they ran a cat scan on my brain and low and behold, they actually found something that they said could be causing these issues. Now here’s where the same song and dance starts, they of course wanted to keep me admitted to the hospital so the brain dr could check me out but I hate hospitals so I obviously wasn’t staying. Their little restraints didn’t work and they figured out the hard way you can’t keep a redneck down. So they gave me the name of the Dr that they want me to see and I’ll be scheduling an appointment with him to see if they get to cut my head open to cure these stupid attacks.

I did realize at the ER Clinic that I need to start listening to my wife and kids more when after the police showed up to make sure I was safe and I didn’t do anything else to the rest of the staff, my son started crying and was begging me to goto the hospital and get fixed. I’ve never seen him like that. My daughter wouldn’t leave my side at all and kept trying to calm me down before something worse happened to my brain I guess or at least that’s what I was told.

So after today my legal issues are wrapped up with the courts but that’s another story that doesn’t belong here. But at least it takes a lot of stress off me. I’m still not taking my meds and my wife has stopped taking her’s because we just plain can’t afford the damn things right now so each day is an adventure for sure.

So this is my rants for today and I’m sure I’ll have more over the weekend since like I said, everyday is an adventure.

Happy 4th of July to the few constant visitors of my little blog here.

Since it’s a cloudy day today, we’re going to to get some food and try to make it last until the 13th, and then try to figure out what to do for the day. I’m sure I’ll be logged into my servers at work doing some maintenance on them since I don’t believe anyone’s going to be working and I’ll verify that when I log into the VPN before I start doing anything.

And that’s all I have to say, about that.

Thanks to the CEO of my company, I’m back with a new blackberry and everything feels right in the world again. It’s VERY important for me to be reached 24/7/365 at my company and everyone knows that. Also not everyone has my cell number in the company so e-mail is the only way they can reach me if something comes up. So VZW let me move my contract renew date up gave me a few discounts and on monday I’ll be turning the needed paperwork into HR so the company will be paying for the new BB, I upgraded to the 8703e and actually tried to push me to the world phone of course but that wasn’t going to happen. I just can’t get used to the trackball on it. I know the 8700 series are solid so I’m happy with those series.

So I believe that it was about 1 week without the blackberry.  All said and done, I’m very happy to have it back again. I just need to find another RSS reader for this one so I have my feeds again. The world is right again.

Well it’s Saturday evening and I’ve finally finished up my other project. At least that’s what I say now but I know at 2am, I’ll wake up with a new idea, new section, rebuild something else, etc for the site. The committee has given their blessings on the site and so far I’ve received about 98% positive feedback on the work I’ve done on it. The other 2% are from assclowns that don’t even bother signing their real name to the e-mails they’ve sent flaming me and saying the site looks like total trash. That’s fine by me since they don’t know that I have all kinds of tricks to keep them from hitting the site again and any e-mails they try to send me, just may end up someplace they really didn’t expect. Yes I’m cruel that way but it takes the stress off me.

So far I’ve only had to ban about a dozen IP blocks from hitting the server since I put the site up and I was expecting more but the anti-spam tricks that I have in place will eliminate 99.9% of SPAM from hitting the forums or the main sites comments.

I’m now looking for a new project to start since staying busy keeps me from thinking about all the other bad things that are going on at this point in my life. I’m way ahead of the projects that I started at work and there’s nothing really I can do around the house unless I hit the lotto somehow.

So tonight I think I’ll sit on the couch with my wife and kids, blackberry next to me, and find something good to watch on the TV.  I know Monday, I’ll be working a long day since I need to put in a new server in the rack and can’t do that until 9pm at night, so that leaves me 4 hours to sit around the office after everyone leaves for the night. Maybe I’ll load up my MP3 collection on a USB drive and play that for the few hours I’ll have down.

Until next time, stay safe and happy.

For those that know me, STOP LAUGHING at the title, yes my brain still work!!! Albeit a little slower then normal as proven this past Sunday when I actually forgot a password for a system and was going nuts trying to get logged in so I could setup a new website for my 20 year high school reunion. I volunteered to help work on the website with the other people that were designing it but got roped into doing it from scratch. I don’t have any problems with it though because I love doing this type of stuff because it keeps me busy and doesn’t allow my mind to start thinking about the other bad stuff happening in my life right now.

My wife always wonders why I always volunteer for what she considers stupid stuff because she doesn’t think anyone appreciates the work that I do when I do volunteer my time but this time around, I was actually happy with the outcome and the feedback that I’ve received from most people on it. That made her happy and she understands why I did it this time but not the others. I guess I can’t blame her when she gets concerned though. I heard a saying years ago that I live my own life by, expect nothing, that way if you don’t get it, you won’t be upset. I didn’t expect the feedback that I’ve received so far from building the website and forums so that made me happy for the most part. Something’s still missing in my life right now and I’m not quite sure what it is. Maybe it’s just stress and I’m reading it wrong.

Anyways, I have the new project to work on until at least mid august when the 20 year reunion comes and passes and most people will have gotten on with their lives and forgotten about the website and forums, I’m sure a few people will still be active on the forums and it’s a great way to stay in touch with people. It’s also a good way to start some new friendships with some people that maybe you didn’t have for some reason or another back 20 years ago. Either way I’m sure something positive will come out of this for me and that’s what’s important for my life right now since god only knows that 2007 hasn’t been that kind to me so far.

Well it’s not Technically the last day of the month but I really don’t care. This week has been taking it’s toll on my mind and body putting in more hours then I really should be for someone on salary. Microsoft Exchange and I are not getting along this week at all and I’m ready to toss the server out the window. Enough about that subject because the more I think about it, the more stressed I’ll get and then I’ll be back in the damn hospital with another mini-stroke.

So as you’ve seen, this year hasn’t been too kind on me health wise. I’ve known for awhile now that my body can’t handle the things it was able to when I was 20 but damn, I didn’t think it was going to start failing on me until I hit at least 50. Between my TIA’s and my back, I really don’t know where my body is headed. I just know it’s not happy for some reason and it’s making damn sure that it’s letting me know.

So on that note, I know that this summer will be spent walking a lot with my wife and kids. I think I’ll take them off to my favorite fishing hole and we’ll do some fishing and hiking around the woods. I know it won’t bother my kids or myself but my wife will be a different story. When I talk about hiking around the woods, I’m not talking about following a trail, I like to just walk around off the trails and see things that you really can’t when your on trails. I won’t let us get lost or anything like that, anytime I go out doing that type of stuff, I always have my “grab bag” with me that has everything I need to survive should something happen to me, like a broken leg, TIA attack, etc.

That’s it for the month of May, I’m hoping that this summer is better for me then winter and spring has been because so far 07 has sucked!

Well after all the changes that’s been happening in 2007 with my wife and my health, I’ve been really looking at ways to cut back on everything and anything to help us get by and save money. My 401k at work is doing great so far and that’s keeping me happy so mark one thing up, next step was to figure out how to cut my cell bill down and here’s where Verizon really came through for me. I called them yesterday and the customer service rep was probably the nicest CS rep I’ve ever spoken with, I spent my entire lunch hour on the phone with her going over our bill and low and behold, she comes back and tells me that for the last 36 months, my wife’s been getting charged $25.00 extra a month because they’ve been charging her for nights and weekends that was supposed to be free as part of her plan. So she credit’s $50 to our account right off the bat and tells me that she’s notifying another department about this because she’s not authorized to credit anymore then $50.00. Read the rest of this entry »

Over the weekend, we rented Broken Bridges. Former high school sweethearts, Bo Price(Keith), a fading country music singer, and Angela Denton(Kelly Preston), a television reporter, return to their small hometown after the deaths of their younger brothers in a military training exercise. Bo and Angela have to deal with the past and the future. Bo also meets his 16-year-old daughter for the first time played by Lindsey Haun.

The movie is one of my favorites and I’ve already ordered a copy of it from Blockbuster when they sell used DVD’s. Some of the music in the movie is just something that i can’t explain. That’s a good thing. Lindsey has such a great voice and sings a song called Broken at the end of the movie that had tears coming to everyone in the room watching the movie.

The acting in this movie is not the best I’ve seen but it’s not the worse that I’ve ever seen. Toby Keith really showed me something that I wasn’t expecting with his acting. I guess that had something to do with some of the singers that I’ve seen that’s tried to act and it really didn’t turn out that good. Besides that, I was really happy with the location and and plot of the movie. The music and background is what really made this movie for me. Burt Reynolds an Kelly Preston helped this movie with their presence in it. At the end of the movie when they are both watching Dixie sing Broken is what really brings a tear to anyone’s eye.

I just could see myself living in that type of town with no problems what so ever. I’ll live in that type of town before I die. I truly believe that every city girl should see the country like that and see that it’s not all about the fancy clothes, makeup, designer bags, etc. It’s about being happy and smelling the fresh air that you’ll NEVER find in any city.

As I was watching the movie, I started thinking about some of the things in my life that I could relate to and some broken bridges that are part of my life. This is one movie that I HIGHLY recommend that you go out and rent or even purchase. I know I still haven’t got tired of watching it and listening to the music in the movie. It’s one that you can take your kids to and not worry about sex, drugs, etc being shown throughout the movie.